Saturday, August 11, 2007

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS: A press release

Capital City, Midchilda, April 1, 2007 - The Time Space Administration Bureau Inc. (MSAQ: TSAB) announced today that it has agreed to acquire Nanoha Inc., responsible for such successful outcomes like Nanoha v0.1 and Nanoha Beta A's, for an undisclosed sum. Following the acquisition, Nanoha Inc. will be renamed to The 6th MS Mobile Section 6, operating under the close scrutiny of the TSAB Ground Forces, its new parent division.

"We have had a good partnership in the past with Nanoha Inc. and have noted their continued cast growth and success in this very competitive market," said Regius Gaiz, Chief Tyrant of TSAB. "This is a mutually beneficial transaction, allowing us to impede the progress of Nanoha Inc. as well as keep tabs on some of its less desirable elements."

"I truly believe that this is a historic milestone for the company," said Nanoha Takamachi, CEO and co-founder of Nanoha Inc. "We have entered a new chapter where others choose our battles or prevent us from acting at all."

When the acquisition is complete, Nanoha Inc. will move to a permanent facility situated within firing range of the TSAB's Capital City Defense Forces. Bolstered by the recruitment of other suspicious elements into its front line staff, the newly christened Mobile Section 6 will provide token assistance in such areas as child assistance and lost and found, under the close supervision of high ranking inspectors of superior judgment and moral fibre.

About The Time Space Administration Bureau
The TSAB provides an ideal sandbox for playing politics and establishing shady connections. Founded in time immemorial, the TSAB enjoys frequent internal power struggles and grudge matches between its ground, naval, and air forces.

About Nanoha Inc.
Founded in 2004, Nanoha Inc. acquired Wolkenritter Intergalactic (Planetary!) to become a multi-faceted security Contractor organization. The company prides itself on its clear-cut battle lines even if the opponents are not. By capitalizing on this combat innovation, the company has brought WIN, EPIC, and the letter J to its myriad fans around the universe(s).

Caution Concerning Forward-Looking Statements
Some assembly required. Actual results may vary. Past performance is no indication of future returns. Correlation does not imply causation. Warranty void if seal is broken. No purchase necessary.


EcureuilMatrix said...

I'm laughing at this like an idiot and I have no idea why. Well, yes, I DO have an idea, but still.